Untitled Ben Miller

By now I’m sure you’ve heard it all. “Oh, you’re going to be a teacher? I hope you’re willing to move.” “What is your back up plan for if you can’t find a job?” “A teacher? My nephew hasn’t been able to find a job and he graduated four years ago. He wants to be a teacher, too.” Tell those people to shut the hell up.
My own teachers have given  in-class lectures about how thin the job market is right now. Really? You’re a teacher! Aren’t you supposed to, as Emerson put it, “set the hearts of the youth on flame?” Not stomp out my hopes of ever getting a job in my field of choice. I just got crazy intellectual right there. Emerson quote. Suck it.
Fellow pre-service teachers, I am calling for a revolution. Is Che Guevara free, nowadays? I have a few suggestions for you guys for any time that somebody tells you that your chances of getting a job after college are slim to none.
Statement: “I hope you’re willing to move.”
If you are: “Yes, I am.”
If you’re not: “The only reason I would move is if you moved in next door to me. I can barely stand you right now, seeing you every day would drive me insane.”
Statement: “What is your back-up plan?”
Response: “Do you as other majors ask yourself that question? Did you have a back up if the whole “asshole” thing didn’t work out?”
Statement: “My nephew can’t find a job.”
Response: “Maybe that’s because your nephew got a 2.0 in college and got arrested three times while he was there. I don’t know, just a thought.”I’m not trying to start any arguments here; I’m just trying to give you guys some options. I’ve had this conversation hundreds of times and every time I end it with “Yeah, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” I’m tired of that. I want to fight back. I say, join me .

The Greek government announced on Tuesday that it intends to transition its struggling economy to a system of perpetually sustainable series of austerity threats and protests. The plan–born after a fresh round of protests and strikes beginning last Tuesday–was brainstormed as response to a new round of demands for budget cuts from the nation’s creditors. Both the Greek Finance and Labor ministries came together in a rare example of collusion and compromise between the contentious agencies.
Central to the new economic structure is a threefold division of labor among the nation’s unemployed, a demographic that now accounts for a full fifth of the population. The largest portion, 60 percent will receive a government stipend to continue protesting and rioting, with an added bonus for looting. While the Prime Minister’s office is looking for serious, whole-hearted protests and riots, they want to make sure they don’t get out of hand.
“In terms of scope, we’re looking for these riots to fall somewhere in between losing the world cup and winning the world cup,” said Evangelos Venizelos, Greek Finance Minister. “In order to ensure the continued success of the model, we will be strategically leaking upcoming plans for budget cuts to crucial and under-supported segments of the population. For instance, we’re looking into proposing a measure requiring all unemployed civilians to literally eat their shoes while waiting in line for unemployment benefits.”
In order to keep the planned riots under control, the government of The Hellenic Republic plans to hire another 10 percent of the unemployed to dress as riot police and club the ever-loving snot out of the hired protesters. An unnamed representative hopes that through a quick course on legally questionable riot suppression lead by foreign representatives from the University of California system, who will be shuttled by bus into the center of the planned conflict zones, will be a great success.
The government also hopes that this will bolster the new field of “democro-tourism,” a new vacation plan that takes tourists from nations with more sustainable corruption and incompetence and places them right into the heart of civil unrest in developing and crumbling nations. Travellers will be offered both riot and suppression packages, with some visitors even opting to try both out, using their flexible DisorderDayz FunbuxxTM to buy both a steady supply of throwing rocks and pepper spray. The hope is not only to bring foreign money into Greece but also to provide an outlet for people discontent with their current occupation.
Sally Gerber, a  42-year-old housewife has already planned her trip. “I’m really excited to join in on some continued striking, chanting and rock throwing, I’ve even begun studying Greek just for the occassion!” she clarified while indicating her copies of both 1000 Anti-Government Epithets and 300 Ways to Beg for Jobs, both published by the Greek Ministry of Tourism.
Despite a solid plan forward to economic independence, the Greek government is receptive to enacting even more crippling cuts to all public services. Any new austerity measures will be considered with a contribution of ten Euro or more directly to Greek Prime Minister Lucas Papademos, who as part of the plan, will continue to panhandle for loose change around the EU and UN like a homeless tramp .

Have you ever been on a library computer and felt like someone was “stalking” you as you write a response paper? As if they are just waiting for you to give up your precious computer? Well you are being stalked or better yet, “sharked.” Sharking is the term that is being used to describe students who wander around the library waiting to pounce on a computer as soon as one becomes available. SUNY Fredonia is trying a new campaign to “stamp out computer sharking” in hopes to eliminate the recent increase of sharking attacks.
Miss Martha, one of the schools librarians, said that “SUNY Fredonia has begun a new campaign in order to ‘stamp out computer sharking’ while having no intention of spending money on more and better resources.”
Computer sharking is not a recent occurrence on this campus. Since the beginning of Windows Explorer students have been sharking one another in order to use the sticky key-boards and pop-up prone computers that are located in Reed Library. Director of library services said that he has seen “sharking” going on for years, though states that the term “sharking” has only been coined as of recently.
With the recent increase of teachers “going green” more and more students rely on computers to complete their assignments. The biggest hit came from not a single computer being updated and the numerous “broken” computers scattered throughout the library. One day it was so bad two girls almost got into a “smack down” after one girl logged the other girl off the computer before she finished printing out her reading for the night.
As with any problem, there is a solution to computer sharking. A quick and easy solution would be to invest in some new computers for the student population. This is easier said than done. SUNY Fredonia, as well as many other SUNY campuses, is in financial turmoil which has caused for considerable cut backs in hiring, new technology and construction. Oh, wait.
Computer sharking is not something that is newly annoying. The SUNY Fredonia tradition of people breathing down your back has been long established and made public ever since the character of “Brainy” from the popular 90s television show “Hey Arnold” was revealed to be based off of a former Fredonia graduate. So students, on a positive note, be prepared to be stared at, creeped on and “sharked” because there seems to be no end in sight.

after growing up in an area dominated by prominent teams, president hefner continues to be an avid fan of various sports and attends numerous campus events on the regular. -Colin Frank/Photo Editor

There is a person who shows his face at just about every sporting event at SUNY Fredonia and goes out of his way to interact with students. That person is President Dennis Hefner. Hefner has been the president of SUNY Fredonia for a little over 15 years and hidden underneath all of the politics and economics of his everyday life is a passion for sports.
Hefner grew up in Redwood City, California just south of San Francisco where he attended Sequoia High School. There he starred on the  track and cross country teams, following in the footsteps of his father.  His father had majored in physical education but went on to become an elementary school principal.
“I very much enjoy watching sports; I am a big fan. I grew up in a family that was full of sports, so I very much enjoy both participating and being a spectator of sports,” said Hefner.
Not only was he born into a family with a sports  background but he was also surrounded by great talent in the Bay area. Charles Johnson, a two-time NBA Champion, attended the same high school as Hefner and was a freshman when Hefner was a senior at the school. Johnson went on to play college basketball at California and then was drafted by his hometown team, the Golden State Warriors in the sixth round of the 1971 NBA Draft. He was a member of the 1975 Warriors team that won the NBA title and would win another later in his career with the Washington Bullets. Obviously, Hefner had plenty of reasons to grow up as a big Golden State Warriors fan.
Growing up in the 50s and 60s was interesting because the NFL had yet to really take off as a major sport. None-the-less, Hefner grew up as a devout San Francisco 49ers fan. The 49ers used to host their training camp  in Redwood City, practically in Hefner’s backyard. He remembers walking three blocks from his house to  the training camp and getting autographs from his favorite players. Growing up, o ne of his favorite players was defensive tackle Leo “The Lion” Nomellinia, ten-time Pro Bowl selection and nine-time all-pro selection, who was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Another favorite player of his was offensive tackle Bob St. Clair, who was the tallest player in the NFL at the time. St. Clair was selected to  five Pro Bowls and was also inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
“When I was a youngster NFL teams didn’t sell out their stadiums, so on the back of milk cartons they would put free coupons for youngsters to be able to go to 49er games and sit in end zone seats as long as there was a paid adult accompanying them. My father would take me to 49er games and we would sit in the end zone at Kezar Stadium before Candlestick Park had been built,” Hefner said.
In the fall of 2010 there was not a happier baseball fan in the Fredonia area than Hefner. His beloved San Francisco Giants won the World Series for the first time since moving from New York City out to the bay area. Every game of the series was closely watched by Hefner and his wife. He can remember going to Seals Stadium as a young kid and watching his favorite baseball player, Willie Mays , play. Mays is in the Baseball Hall of Fame and is recognized as one of the best players of  all time.
Hefner cannot claim a favorite NHL team because growing up in California he simply wasn’t all that interested in the sport. He claims that Mrs. Hefner is the true hockey fan and that hockey actually helped attract him to Fredonia.
“When we got the brochures from this campus after I sent my name in for President prior to the interviews, we were sitting in Minnesota reading through the brochures and she got to a picture of hockey and said ‘Wow! They even have a hockey team in Fredonia.’ So you can say I came to Fredonia because of hockey.”
Hefner may not have grown up loving  hockey but he has certainly become a huge fan of the Blue Devils hockey program. It is rare for him to miss any sporting event here on campus, especially a hockey game. He has been to some amazing sporting venues and events all over the  world but when asked what his favorite sporting event of all-time was, it was a hockey game.
Hefner explains, “The one that stands out the most to me and I have a picture in my office of it at the President’s house was a hockey game. It was the SUNYAC Championship game against Plattsburgh that we won on the road in Plattsburgh 5-2 to enter the NCAA tournament. What made it truly special was that one of the players handed me the trophy to hold up and they took a picture of me with nothing but sheer joy and glee across my face. ”

Fredonia State Hockey
The Fredonia hockey team suffered a big loss on Friday, 10-2 against the second ranked division III team in the nation: Oswego State. They followed that performance up with a 3-0 shutout win versus Cortland on Saturday.  The Oswego State Lakers scored four goals in the first eight minutes of the first period and the Blue Devils had no chance to come back.  Mike Monfredo and Mike Muhs scored the only goals for Fredonia.

On Saturday it was a completely different story for the Blue Devils hockey team when goaltender Mark Friesen got his first shutout of the season. Fredonia State scored all three of their goals in the second period and the win ended a three game losing streak.

Track and Field
Fredonia State men’s and women’s teams competed in Barea, Ohio on Friday. Kathleen Goodberlet, Nicole Dessens and Max Radley represented the Blue Devils the greatest in the 20-pound weight throw as well as the shot put.Goodberlet finished in ninth place out of 35 throwers in the 20-pound weight throw and Dessens finished in ninth in the shot put. Radley, a junior, finished in eighteenth in the weight throw and fifteenth in the shot put.

Women’s Swimming
The Fredonia State women finished second at the SUNYAC Swimming and Diving championship meet which ended Saturday night at the Erie Community College’s Burt Flickinger Center. It was the highest finish in the history of the women’s program.

Members of Fredonia club hockey manage to get the puck from Alfred State’s team during their match on Friday night. -Colin Frank/Photo Editor

Although the cost is high, many players feel it is worth the extra money out of their pockets compared to participating on a Division III athletic team.
“It’s worth it. The league is very competitive and it’s another way to make a lot of friends on campus and it’s a good balance between school and hockey,” said right wing Bryan Kavanaugh. “It’s not overwhelming like actual Division III sports can be.”
As college students with limited funds, many players depend on their parents or guardians to help pay the cost of participating in club sports.
“My parents pay for it so it doesn’t really affect me,” said right

wing Alex Garfield. “I wouldn’t be able to play if they didn’t. They are used to paying a lot of money for hockey , though. Over past years of playing travel hockey it’s been way more than that every year especially when we used to travel far for tournaments. But you also have to figure a new hockey stick is $200 so everything is really expensive.”
The B team plays in the College Hockey Association (CHA). The fee for B team members is $540 per person for a single season. This does not include transportation to each sporting event.
“It is pretty expensive,” said forward Jordan Grills. “All the money goes to ice time  or hotels pretty much; we don’t get any money for transportation.”
Other club sports, such as club lacrosse, operate under different financial circumstances than club hockey.
“We have an annual trip to Baltimore, which usually costs around $6,000,” said President Jon Skovira. “That includes the tournament fee,  transportation and the hotel. We try to have the guys pay as little out of their pocket as possible; this semester they haven’t had to pay anything yet. The only expense they would pay for would be the team apparel  [hoodies, pants, pinnies]. SA gives us a budget that we are able to control and manage to pay for the expenses that come up.”
Not all SUNY Fredonia club sports demand a large down payment in order to get involved. Club teams such as the women’s club soccer team offer a much more affordable alternative for soccer athletes.
“We take one time $20 dues from each player,” said President Paula Culhane. “It covers referee fees, jersey, shorts, transportation to away games, soccer balls and other miscellaneous equipment.”
Despite the costs SUNY Fredonia club athletics has dedicated members who are willing to pay in order to compete in the sports that they love.

Fredonia’s Adrian Van Hall competes in the 200 meter free heat during the SUNYAC championships held this past weekend. -Colin Frank/Photo Editor

Perseverance is a word commonly used in sports, sometimes overused. However, the story of Melissa Mazurek, a freshman from Brockport, NY on the SUNY Fredonia swimming and diving team is truly a story of perseverance. She has overcome many obstacles to get where she is today.
When Mazurek was four years old she had a near death experience while on a field trip with her day care.  “My group was first taken to the nature hike. At one point, we stopped to talk about a plant,” said Mazurek. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t see my chaperon, so I stepped on a boulder in front of me to gain some height. The boulder was already holding several of my friends, so I ended up slipping and falling into the creek.”
Once Mazurek hit the water things continued to get worse. The water was dirty and murky and she remembers many gruesome details about her encounter with the creek.
“I was unable to swim at this time so completely panicked when I hit the water,” Mazurek said. “I was in the water struggling for about three minutes. I remember losing my glasses and holding onto a vine to keep me above water. However, I lost grip of the vine and eventually slipped under water. Eventually, a chaperon named Mrs. Judy jumped in after me and pulled me out.”
After the incident, Mazurek understandably wanted nothing to do with water.  She didn’t trust herself around water and didn’t think she would ever be comfortable around it again. However, Melissa’s mother wanted her daughter to face her fears.
“My mother decided it was best to sign me up for swim lessons about six months after the situation occurred,” Mazurek said. “Even after weeks of lessons, my nerves never settled. My mom kept insisting that I attend lessons and that eventually my fears would subside. After about two months of constant lessons, I was able to interact with the water calmly.”
Eventually, Mazurek’s nerves around water were not only calmed but she discovered she actually enjoyed being in the water.
“I owe my swimming career to my mother,” Mazurek said. “When she saw my passion for being in the water, she brought me to a local swim team.”
Once she started competing, Mazurek realized that she loved the sport, she loved to compete and that eventually led her to try-out for the SUNY Fredonia swim team in the fall of 2011. As a freshman, she has not seen much swimming action so far but Head Coach Arthur Wang admires her positive attitude and great motivation.
“We call her Missy,” said Wang. “Missy was rather quiet the first part of the semester and unfortunately became ill, but she became much more vocal and animated during our winter training trip to Florida.  She is very good at impressions of her teammates. Missy brings support to her other teammates and is always encouraging.  She swam extremely well in her last dual meet.”
Mazurek’s positive attitude and good work ethic are also apparent to her teammates.
“Missy brings a very positive attitude and a true passion for swimming and the team,” said junior Steohanie Andrasek. “I didn’t know about Missy’s story before she joined Fredonia swimming and after hearing it, it doesn’t surprise me that Missy would continue with swimming because she is an individual who is very driven and has a positive outlook on life. She will get very far in the future.”
It would have been easy for Mazurek to just give up on water completely after her near death encounter. Many people would just decide to avoid water for the rest of their life. Mazurek decided to rise up instead; she fought hard and eventually turned her fear into a talent. Mazurek’s story should be a lesson that fears and obstacles can be overcome, and that perseverance can lead you to discover talents that would have never been discovered.

Several SUNYAC competitors huddle during last week's championship meet. The team was higly successful, coming out of the meet with a slew of new school records. -Courtney Gfroerer/Special to The Leader

SUNY Fredonia’s Men and Women’s Swimming and Diving teams headed to Erie Community College’s Burt Flickinger Center this past weekend hoping to excel, and excel they did. Wednesday through Saturday night, both teams competed in the SUNYAC conference championships, hoping to place better than they had in 2011.
The women certainly have something to be proud of as they recorded their best finish ever in the championship meet, building on last year’s strong finish.
Last year, both the men and women finished strong. They placed fourth of nine teams in the conference. This year turned out to be a different story. In total, 31 records were broken between the men and women, and SUNY Fredonia showed the conference that this time they meant business. Both teams showed they were ready to race, the women placed second in the meet and the men placed fifth.
Beginning the three-day meet, SUNY Fredonia entered the water for preliminaries on Thursday feeling confident in the races to come.
“The men and women have both come to swim hard and they put in the work during the season, so now they’re just reaping the benefits,” said Head Coach Arthur Wang.
During the first day, the women’s team featured three swimmers, record-breaker Lizzie Lodinsky, captain Emily Ginty, and sophomore Jenni Smith in the top eight of the 500 freestyle, finishing fifth, seventh, and eighth, respectively, with sophomore Kristen Champoux coming in ninth.
Amazing diving took place as well. Junior Sarah Ficarro lead the way as five of the six women placed first through fifth consecutively on the three meter board, while the men all finished within the top eight on the one meter board. After the first day, the women found themselves in first place, while the men were seated third. Other record breakers included junior Stephanie Andrasek in the 200 individual medley (IM), captain Elizabeth Schake and sophomore John Estanislau setting new records for the 50 freestyle. The men also grabbed the 400 medley relay record. The team consisted of sophomore Eric Jordan, Estanislau, sophomore Andrew Case, and senior Rob Sweeny. They finished in a time of 3 minutes, 34.06 seconds. Freshmen Rachel Morgano, Katie Donnelly, and Ellie Brion also stepped up to the plate for their events in their first ever SUNYAC.
“We’ve never been in this situation that we’re in now, our team has never been stronger, and we’re placing higher than we ever have,” Captain Matt Beebe said coming into finals on Friday.
Throughout finals that night, the team seemed to carry the same high sense of confidence that their captain portrayed. In the 100 butterfly, Schake took fourth on the women’s side, while Case swam to a sixth place finish and Estanislau grabbed second place, setting a new school record. Lodinsky and Smith dominated again in the 200 free, Lodinsky setting yet another school record.
Records continued to fall, with Andrasek in the 100 breast stroke, the women’s 200-medley relay featuring Camille Follman, Andrasek, Schake, and Brion, and the women’s 800 freestyle relay with Ginty, Lodinsky, Smith, and Champoux. Junior Courtney Schmidt took tenth place and a new school record in the 400 IM as well.
Both swimmers and divers came into the final day of competition looking strong. The podium gleamed a bright blue Saturday night, as the divers completely took over the boards. Sophomore Ashley Keller not only took her first SUNYAC championship title, but also set a one meter 11 dive SUNYAC conference record, as well as the school’s one meter 11 dive record.
Following her were teammates Ficarro, sophomore Katelyn Haley, freshman Heather Colby and senior Leanne Kies, placing first through fourth, and sixth, respectively. In addition to placing in the top six for the one meter board, five out of the six female divers qualified for the national meet next month in Indianapolis on at least one board, if not both.
On the men’s side, Junior Ryan Fuller earned the top spot for three meter diving, followed by sophomore Josh Croft in fourth, and senior John Rodman in seventh. All three swimmers qualified for the national meet. Once swimming started, Lodinsky set two more school records during her 1650 freestyle in both the 1000 and 1650 freestyle, finishing in second place, while sophomore Adrian Van Hall dropped over a minute off his best time to place ninth in the event on the men’s side.
Ginty set a school record while securing fifth place in the 200 back, right in front of freshman Stephanie Rosa and Follman who captured sixth and seventh place. A solid performance by Schake in the 100 free gained her the school record and a sixth place finish. Estanislau also snatched a 100 freestyle record for himself while finishing second in the event. Andrasek and Courtney Schmidt dominated in the 200 breast stroke; Andrasek set a new school record in her second place finish, while Schmidt swam her way to eighth. Case sneaked up from his seventh place spot to finish fourth in the 200 fly, creating quite a stir in the event.